My Bernard
by Dumb Genius
Summary: A fanfic for shivaun18's fanfic. After a few months of their relationship being official, Grace and Bernard have some 'fun time! Please be prepared to be disapointed if you expect a whole lot, they didn't... yeah, just read it.


_***** This is NOT my story, it is my friend's, so please do not ask me to write any more. Read below AN for more information. Thank you!*****_

_My Bernard_

"You do realize that your skirt rides up easily when you bend over, right?" Bernard asked with a barely noticeable smirk.

I shrieked and hastily stood up to smooth down the said clothing. "You're a jackass." I retorted angrily.

"My, my, so hostile... So what are you doing?"

"I'm looking for something." I said, offering no further explanation as to why I was on the floor.

He sighed exasperatedly. "Leave it to you to misplace things…"

I spluttered and tried to find something to say back. I found no such thing and just settled for a growl.

"So when are we going?" He inquired nonchalantly.

"In just a moment." I replied. I reached under the table and found my card. "I found it!"

Bernard raised his eyebrows so high that it looked as though it blended in with his hairline. "You lost your _debit card_? Remind me to never trust you with anything valuable of mine. Ever."

"Shut up." I retorted with a blush. "Besides, when am I ever going to have to hold something for you? It's not like we're married."

"Yes, but we are together. Typically that's what couples do." He explained to me like I was some five year old.

I flushed, still awkward when he said it so casually. I would have never thought that he and I would be together… But I guessed that after all we've been through, it would have been expected in an omniscient point of view. After two months of it being official you'd think I would have been used to the concept... "So, shall we head out?"

"Sure… You know, you are such a _girl_. You take forever to get ready." Bernard told me with an eye roll. I wanted to smack him for that remark but ignored it when he opened the door for me. "Ladies first…" He was so sweet, I just had to flush. "Though I can't say much about your _elegance_ as a lady." And there went that sweetness. Leave it to Bernard to _ruin_ the moment.

"You're a jerk." I told him with my eyes narrowed.

"Then why are you with me?" He responded easily.

"Because…" I said, blushing again. I seemed to be doing that a lot lately. "You're my espresso museum guy." I then leaned up to kiss him chastely. His cheeks flushed but his un-amused expression stayed put. He looked anywhere but at me.

I loved him for that. With him being such an untouchable man, I loved that his shyness _completely_ contradicted his whole being. It was just another trait that made Bernard amazingly unique. I grabbed his hand and pulled him along with me. "Let's go, before we miss the show time!"

*LINE*

"That movie was horrible." Bernard said in deep regret of our movie choice.

The trailer was completely misguiding and made us think that it was going to be an action-filled thriller. That wasn't the case at all. Sure, the graphics were pretty amazing but there were a lot of… _explicit_… sex scenes. I'm not even joking. The actors would make out and suck each other's faces, then they would 'do the dirty' and make animalistic sounds which echoed through the vicinities. All around us couples were making out, completely disregarding the movie that was playing. For all the life of me, I don't understand why we didn't just _leave_.

"It wasn't… _so_ bad." I remarked, trying to lighten the mood.

He sighed. "Well it's late. I'm going to head home."

"Wonderful!" I said, smiling. "So now I can see where you live."

Bernard looked slightly perplexed, but covered it with sarcasm. Just like he always did. "The movie got you in the mood? Aren't we easily influenced?"

I blushed, stammered and cried out indignantly. "What! No! I- ugh! You are just too much sometimes, you know that?"

"I've been told that… many times." He replied coolly.

"Whatever, let's just go." I snapped.

"Fine." Bernard replied, taking note of the way I was walking. He decided to correct me, just like he always did. "It's this way."

I blushed and followed him reluctantly… even though I _was_ the one who wanted to see his place. How did he always manage to make me feel like I've made a fool out of myself? It's probably because I opened the door for his opportunities too much.

The walk was generally quiet, but when it started to get cold I did the cliché and slowly placed my hand into his. We've done that many times, but it seemed like the whole concept of a relationship was too much for me to grasp. He lightly accepted my hand, but made no voiced acknowledgement. After about forty-five minutes Bernard finally stopped in front of some apartments. It was nothing fancy, but it wasn't a dump, either.

"This is it." He said simply.

"C-can I come in?" I mumbled shyly.

"Obviously. You didn't walk all this way just to see the outside." Bernard responded with a raised brow.

He opened the door with a key and led me to the elevator. He lives on the fourth floor. When we stopped he led the way to the end of a long stretched hallway. When he opened the door, I was surprised at how neat it was. From the look of his office I would have expected his place to be a dump, but everything was clean. All of his belongings were put in the right place, there was no mess, no dishes in the sink, and the floor looked to be freshly vacuumed. Despite how small it was, he managed to keep it unsoiled.

"Do you even live here? It's so clean!" I stated stupidly.

"Not everyone lives like a pig, Grace."

I gaped at him then retorted. "Well from the looks of your office, I thought you were a slob!"

"That's work." He answered steadily.

His calm attitude aggravated me… But I supposed it was better than us arguing.

"Whatever… So, do you have anything to drink?" I questioned, making myself at home.

"Water." He said with a shrug.

I grinned. "Sounds great! Thank you for offering."

He heaved a sigh but got me a glass anyways… Not before rolling his eyes of course. "Thank you, sweetie!" I teased. He never seemed to be thrown by my teasing though. It was sort of disheartening…

"Do you want to watch TV?" He offered.

"Okay!" I chirped. There wasn't much on but after surfing the channels for a while I finally came across this amazing channel that was showing the ruins of Egypt. Bones and artefacts were dug up and the history on them was explained. Numbers of episodes were shown after that, dealing with similar aspects. I was so caught up in them I hadn't even realized that Bernard had made a change in his wardrobe. For the first time he was wearing non-formal clothes… It was strange, but I liked it. Bashfully I voiced my approval, but I tried to add slight teasing. "Damn Bernard, you look hot. You could be a pyjama model."

"Oh yes. And while I'm doing that maybe you could model the baggy clothes section." I would have been hurt if he didn't wear a half-smile when he said it. But honestly…Loose-fitting pants and a nice undershirt, it was really complimenting to his figure… especially with his hair. He looked so natural in it.

"So what time is it?" I asked, yawning.

"Two o-clock."

I immediately jumped up and started scrambling around for my bag. "What! That can't be right! Roxanne would have called." I shoved my hand into my bag and felt around for my cell phone. Quickly, I flipped it open to see that it was on silent. "Shi- er snap! I forgot to change it back when we left the movies!" Checking my inbox I seen that Roxanne had texted me like, thirty times, called even more times and had left multiple messages. I was so deep in doo doo.

"What's the big deal?" Bernard asked, sounding genuinely curious. "Aren't you an adult?"

"Roxanne is a little… overprotective. She thinks I can't take care of myself." I explained with an eye roll as I turned my cell on speakerphone mode to listen to the messages. I listened to about ten of them amused, glancing at Bernard a few times to see him wearing a smirk with a raised brow. On the eleventh message, I deeply regretted letting Bernard listen to them.

"_Grace! Are you with Bernard! You better not- well I guess I can't tell you… Make sure to use protection! If he doesn't have any then go to the store-" _

As fast as I could I snapped the phone shut. I slowly looked to Bernard, hoping that he hadn't heard… It was too late, the damage had been done. His eyes were closed and he was kneading his forehead with his knuckles. A very obvious blush covered his cheeks. A few minutes of awkward silence passed before I broke it. "Er… can I stay the night?"

He looked at me as if I had lost my mind, but then sighed and nodded curtly.

"And… can I borrow some pyjamas?" I asked weakly.

"Are you high?" He asked me with a look that said "you have got to be kidding me".

"N-no!" I burst out in embarrassment. "Sleeping in a skirt and this damn shirt would be uncomfortable…" Seemingly agreeing with me he nodded again and head for his room. Two minutes later found me in his bathroom putting on some too large clothes… but they were comfy. After some arguing about sleeping arrangements, I was on the couch and Bernard was in his bed. I would have liked to say that that was because _I_ told him that he should take the bed even though he insisted that I should… But that wasn't the case. Bernard, being Bernard, insisted that since it was his house, he take the bed. So much for chivalry.

*LINE*

I awoke pleasantly on something comfy, feeling blissfully warm. Not wanting to leave the sleep realm I snuggled further into the warm sensation. I smiled and thought of the past few weeks that I had spent with Bernard. They were far more intimate than the other months I had spent with him and I had learnt many interesting facts about him. For instance, he was ticklish in his side. He never burst out laughing, but he _did_ automatically get defensive and flinch. I giggled at the memory and wrapped my legs around the pillow I was snuggling. After a few moments I felt uncomfortable again and adjusted my position. I moved around a bit and slid my leg further up the pillow. Satisfied, I settled down again. I would have been happy like that… if I hadn't heard a groan just above my head. Suddenly scared, I counted to ten before seeing what the noise was.

I was shocked. Not just a little. I mean I was speechless. I was like a deer caught in the headlights. That sound came from Bernard. I was snuggling up against Bernard. I was _freaking _cuddling _Bernard_! I looked down to see how entangled our bodies were. He was lying on his side, one arm supporting my head, one arm slung across my torso. Our legs were entangled and my arms were wrapped around his waist. And one of my legs… When I had slid my leg up, I had pushed it in between Bernard's legs and settled it there… touching his crotch… Oh dear Rah, please kill me now.

Very slowly and carefully I tried to disentangle myself. As I attempted to do this I accidentally pushed my leg against Bernard's crotch which earned a groan. Oh god, I could have died of embarrassment right then! Still… I was a little curious... Experimentally, I gently nudged his crotch again. His moan was extremely quiet, if it hadn't been so silent I would have missed it. I do this a few more times when I feel his… thingy… twitch. Oh god! Why did I do that? I must be a pervert… but I continued on anyways. I kept up my ministrations until I felt him begin to grow. With extreme carefulness I reached my hand down and began to stroke him.

"…Grace…" He mumbled very quietly. That encouraged me so I didn't stop until I felt him stir. Being the chicken I was I pretended to still be asleep and waited for him to sneak out and pretend that this never happened. I didn't expect his reaction to be so loud so I was genuinely surprised.

"Ah!"

I jolted and sat up with great speed. "Bernard!"

Evidently when he screamed he fell out of the bed and landed on his butt. "What the hell Grace! How did you get here?" He asked, his eyes wider than I've ever seen them.

I was going to answer him when I looked to his crotch. It was pitching a tent in his pyjamas… When I had felt him, I didn't know what to expect… But there he was, in all of his glory… 'standing to attention.'

Bernard followed my gaze and immediately grew embarrassed. In a futile attempt he threw his hand over it to cover himself.

I giggled nervously and tried to say something, but all that came out was a pitiful squeak.

He cleared his throat and stood up, still keeping his hand over his area. "I-it's never this bad…" he explained with great struggle.

Oh god I felt so horrible… Maybe I could say something to make it better. "… I could help you…" God, anything but _that_! Sometimes I wish I had control of the things I said... and did. "Er- I mean, oh gosh! I'm such an idiot!" I berated myself.

"Are you… serious?" Bernard asked me, face flushing even more.

I nodded weakly, fearing the rejection that was going to come in a few moments.

He sat down beside me on the bed and sighed shakily. All was silent for a while until he broke the spell. "…Okay…"

My head snapped up so quickly I could hear my neck crack. Did he just agree to that? Was this 'second base' or 'third base'? I didn't even know. We probably weren't going to actually… 'do it', but still! This was huge! And I was not talking about his shaft… Though it was pretty impressive.

I slowly crawled up to him and sat on his stomach... That was right, right? I kissed him on the lips chastely and asked for entrance by running my tongue on his lower lip. He granted it slowly, seemingly nervous. Hell, I was nervous! That was my first time doing anything like that! But I pressed forward and slowly gained confidence in myself. We continued to kiss, not really getting crazy with it quite yet.

Bernard broke the embrace and took some breaths before he spoke. "I'm not comfortable."

"O-oh!" I stammered, automatically thinking that it was my weight that had caused his discomfort. I got off of him so he could reposition himself. "Am I too heavy?"

"No… I've carried textbooks heavier than you." He mumbled as he piled up his pillows and lay back down. He gazed at me, not really hinting for me to continue, but I could tell that he was waiting for me. I climbed back onto his stomach and sat lightly. Finding that since his head was raised a bit higher and the space was minimal, I scooted back some ways to create some room. To my embarrassment, when I did so I shoved my rear against Bernard's, _ahem_… erection, which evoked a choke-like gasp from him.

"I'm sorry!" I cried out, worried that I had done something wrong.

"What for?" Bernard asked me, not meeting my eyes.

"D…didn't I hurt you?" I whispered in a small voice.

"No…"

"Then what was that sound for?" I demanded weakly, not believing him.

He sighed like the world hated him and looked me straight in the face. "Haven't you ever done this before? Or read about it in one of your romance novels? Or even take a class. Usually schools make it mandatory that you know this stuff."

"N-no, I haven't… And when the…_class_ was in session, I was pretending to listen while I read about the Aztecs…"

"The movie we just watched?"

"I was closing my eyes for the most part…"

He shook his head at me, but a light smile graced his face. Remembering what we were doing, his face grew nervous again. "I-it just felt… good."

"R-really?" I asked, feeling vulnerable.

He only nodded.

The sensation that sprouted up in my abdomen was surprising. There was a jolt of electricity, and it made me feel all warm. I found that making him feel pleasure brought _me_ pleasure.

I kissed him again, this time with more enthusiasm. Gently, I grabbed his hair and entangled my fingers in the feathery locks. Fervently, I sucked on his lower lip until he grunted and pulled away.

"God damn, Grace…" He sputtered, cheeks flaming red.

That look in his eyes made me feel that certain pleasure again and I found that I wanted _more_ of it. Again and again I kissed him, until he was returning the favour with as much passion as I was dishing it out with.

"Oh!" I choked out. It sounded foreign… like some desperate little minx…

"Grace…" He moaned out.

I was enjoying this immensely. And this was just kissing.

Boldly I pecked him down his jaw, towards his neck.

"You're such a tease." He complained out, breathless.

I giggled and raised my eyes up so I could look at his face. He was panting, cheeks flaming red, hair just as messy as ever, and his eyes… Glazed over with lust. It was almost unbearable.

I was bold up until the moment I was faced with the task of removing his shirt… I mean, I _did_ know how to … but I just didn't have enough confidence to do so. I bit my lip to try and calm myself, but I was frozen.

"Y-you don't have to…"

I snapped my head up at the sound of his voice. It sounded different from the usual snarky-Bernard tone; almost nervous and… caring.

"I-I'm sorry." I stutter. Oh god, maybe I was in over my head.

"No, really." Bernard grunted. His face was lightly scrunched up in frustration.

"W-well…" I took a gulp of air. "I said I would…"

That was true… But it didn't mean I knew what I was doing.

"This was a bad idea." Bernard told me, rubbing the back of his neck. He let out another grunt.

"What's wrong?" Okay now I was worried. He looked very… _out of sorts_.

"It's just a little unbearable, I guess." He admitted. "I don't really have any experience either so… I don't know what to expect."

"You're a virgin too?" I ask, slightly thankful.

His face flamed up.

"Sorry, sorry… I shouldn't have asked like that…" I scooted back again, and hit his erection once more.

Bernard let out a long, low moan.

And there was that jolt of pleasure again. Taking it a step further, I actually sat _directly_ on it. It felt so right… And Bernard seemed to think so too.

Judging by his slight moaning, I was doing something right… but still… The feeling that sprouted up between my legs felt sort of… needing. And I think I knew just what it wanted. Experimentally, once again, I rubbed up and down _it_. Only this time it wasn't with my hand. I ground my hips into his and we both moaned and made embarrassing sounds. This continued with me in control until something unexpected happened.

Bernard's hips bucked up... Quite harshly. But it felt so _good_.

I squealed out in delight. If I wasn't feeling so good, I probably would have crawled into a hole at that sound I just made.

I kissed him again and he continued to occasionally buck his hips. I thought he was doing it on purpose until my own hips unexpectedly bucked as well. Harshly, I rubbed my hips into his, trying to fill that certain needing feeling. Soon we were humping shamelessly through our clothes. It was amazing... and it was voiced quite enthusiastically.

"Oh god, oh god, oh god!" I started to chant. I didn't even know what I was saying. The pleasure was increasing fast, making me feel dizzy.

"Grace-" Bernard choked out. His hips bucked one last time, and he and I clenched onto each others' backs. I screamed and then seen white. I wasn't too sure what had happened. But then Bernard stopped moving his hips. And I did too.

Tired and sweaty, I dropped onto Bernard and tried to catch my breath. While I was doing so I felt a warm, wet sensation around my crotch area. Wondering what it was I lifted myself off of Bernard and looked down.

It was sticky and hot. I peered up to Bernard and seen that his face was flushed and embarrassed. It came from him…

"I-I think I know what it is." I told him, saving the embarrassment of him having to explain it to me. I mean, I at least knew the mechanics of how babies were made… a little.

Bernard coughed and tried to think of something to say. Oh boy, I found another thing that makes him shut up… And I didn't particularly like it. I've gotten used to his snarky remarks…

"Bernard?"

"…I don't know what happens now…" He admitted.

I giggled nervously. "Me neither. I-I don't really know what to say or do."

"You'll be staying a while though… Because of the laundry…"

"Yeah… that… Um, I think that it would be best that I didn't call my sister now. I-I'm still a little… yeah." I said as I gazed up to him. He looked so dreamy after being, erm… _relieved_… I wonder how I looked.

"Your face is red."

"Sh-shut up! Yours is too." I retorted, probably reddening even more. I guess this was as long as I would go without his annotations… And that was fine with me.

*LINE*

"What has you so chipper on this dreary day?" Keith asked me, leaning against the counter. The café was empty due to the hail storm that was outside.

"Oh, nothing really…" I reply, trying to look _not_ _so_ _damn_ _pleased_. It was hard.

"Did something happen?" He pried further.

I was about to tell him to mind his own business when Bernard walked in. My smile widened. I mean, he made it through the storm just to come here.

"Extra large double strength espresso," He said, making his usual order.

"Will there be a 'please' with that?" I asked, still smiling.

He let out a sigh, but had a slight grin. "Extra large double strength espresso, _please_."

"That's better!"

"Uh huh."

"You two are acting weird…" Keith said, to my annoyance. "You're both more… happy. Especially you, Grace…"

I was hoping he wouldn't notice…

"Oh my god, don't tell me! You guys had sex!" He suddenly burst out.

Both at once, Bernard and I flushed a maddening red. It was almost sickening how blood beneath your skin could give so much away…

"N-no, we didn't!" I shouted as close to Keith's face as I could get. Curse his freakishly-tall stature! Besides… It _was_ the truth… we didn't… _do_ _it_.

"Oohhh… you guys dry humped!" He said, far too loud.

"Oh my god, Keith! _Shut_ _up_!" I said, embarrassed almost at fainting point. I glanced over to Bernard to see that he wasn't faring so well either. He looked more horrified than _me_… At least I think he did.

"You didn't deny it? You totally did! Oh man! So Bernard, how was she? Did she give you the time of your life? Was she the best you ever had? Or was she the worst? Oh my god! Wouldn't that suck Grace? Imagine if Bernard was disappointed with you because he had, like, some fox before you. I'm not saying your ugly or anything, but-"

"We're both virgins!" I screamed at him. As soon as it left my mouth, I regretted it. Well that shut them both up… To my surprise though, Bernard didn't look upset… He actually looked _pleased_.

"Bernard? You're also a golden unicorn?" Keith asked stupidly.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Bernard asked, non-interestingly.

"Like, an adult virgin." Keith explained.

"Yes, what about it?" Bernard said in the same tone.

"Dude! You never got laid? Doesn't that suck?"

"No… It just makes me surer that I don't have STD's or a kid to worry about." Bernard says.

"But-"

"Keith, shut up." I told him, smug at how well my… _boyfriend_ handled that. "So I guess I'll see you later?"

"Sure." Bernard said, looking off into the distance.

"Bye Mr. Espresso Museum Guy!" I cooed.

"Later." He told me, turning. Before he left, though, I grabbed his hand to pull him in for a kiss. Tenderly, I ran my fingers along his neck, making him shiver. And then we parted. Now a little flustered, he walked off a little quicker than usual.

All I could do was giggle. Giggle at how we just were more intimate than we had ever been, and he was still flustered by a kiss. Giggle at how I love him so much. And giggle at how _adorable_ he looked when his cheeks reddened.

Yes… This was my Bernard. The one I fell in love with, and the one I will always love.

"So... You guys dry humped?"

Palm-forehead-slap, _please_!

**Disclaimer, peoples! Grace is not my original character, she's shivaun18's. And Megamind is not my movie, it's Dreamworks'.**

**I am not gay. I know it was written in Grace's POV, and that she's describing her intimacy with Bernard, a man, but I like women. I was just able to write it because I know how sex works and what guys feel. The girl part of it was derived from all the other lemons I have read about what the ladies feel… And also maybe my girlfriend helped me by telling me what feels good, and what makes her… Anyways, Read and review. Don't have an account, so I thank Dumb Genius immensely for posting this for me. It took a lot of begging for her to put this up, so treasure it like a little baby of excellence. This is the only story I will want to post, so that is why I don't want to create an account for just **_**one**_** story. I've written a few others and have just kept them to myself. They weren't good enough to post… Even this one is so amateur, but the story (Overshadowed) was awesome and I thought that Bernard needed some tail! I added Keith in there because he's awesome and he reminds me of myself. And because it's a girl POV, the last bit had to be sappy... the Keith part was for me! ;D**

**Peace be with all of you lemon-lovers, and keep it real.**


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